10 Home Birth Tips I Wish I Knew Before My First Baby
Because there’s a whole lot more to home births than water births…
There’s something so captivating about the idea of giving birth at home
The quiet. The control. The comfort of your own space. I honestly pictured myself surrounded by candlelight, soft music playing, and my baby peacefully entering the world into a warm birth tub with me and my husband crying. Just all around a joyful and emotional moment. Reality? A little bit of none of that… and a whole lot of real life happened.
If you’re planning a home birth for the first time, or even just curious, these are the 10 truths and home birth tips I wish I knew beforehand when I was planning my first home birth. These aren’t to scare you—they’re to empower you. So let’s get into it.
1. Birth doesn’t care about your Pinterest board
For my first home birth, I had the whole vision planned and mapped out in my mind: low lights, essential oils, soft affirmations or my birth playlist playing, and my perfect warm water birth. And yes, none of that happened. Birth is wild, raw, and intense. Birth can be fast and furious or sometimes painfully slow and uneventful. The main thing to understand is that it is okay to have your perfect envisioned home birth planned, but you shouldn’t be tight fisted with the plans. We have to be open to plans changing or that we may not want something we had planned during labor. And guess what? Sometimes the tub never gets filled, or your fairy lights stay packed in the drawer. And that’s okay! The beauty of birth doesn’t lie in the aesthetic—it lies in the transformation.
2. Your mindset matters more than your supplies
Yes, it’s helpful to have all the towels, the chux pads, and the snacks. Most of which you will get with your birth supply list or your midwife will provide. But what really got me through labor? My headspace. The breath work I practiced. The affirmations I clung to. The way I reminded myself, “This is what I was made for and that I am safe.” You can prep a birth cart all day—but don’t forget to prep your mind too. Labor and birth is literally a mind game. It’s a mind game that you will need to master and prepare prior to birth to get you through those tough laps in the marathon that is labor.
3. The afterbirth is a whole experience
No one told me just how intense the moments after birth could be. The shakiness that occurs after you give birth due to quick hormonal changes The afterbirth contractions. WOAH! I really experienced the afterbirth contractions after my second home birth. Afterbirth pains are contractions you experience due to your uterus clamping down in order to get back to its normal size. During home birth because you do not have pain medications to dull the pain you might really experience them (especially more intensely with each subsequent birth). You may also get the feeling of suddenly being empty—but also completely full all at the SAME TIME. It’s a whole weird, exciting, and emotional rollercoaster. Postpartum hits fast and hard, and it’s not all warm snuggles and golden hour photos (sometimes). Prepare for the fourth trimester like you prepare for the birth itself.
4. You still need a backup plan
Planning a home birth isn’t about ignoring what could go wrong—it’s about being prepared, period. Again we want to have our dream home birth planned out, but not be tight fisted with those plans. Things just change and we have to be open to that possibility and flexible. Every single home birth I have, I make peace with the idea that if I needed to transfer to the hospital, it wouldn’t mean I failed. It would mean I did what was best for my baby and me. That’s strength. So make sure you have a hospital transfer plan in place with your midwife and your birth team. If you are needing a transfer to the hospital, it’s wise to already have a little bag packed, the nearest hospitals mapped out, and protocols in place to ensure a smooth transition. Just in case.
5. You don’t need a crowd
Unless you really want one! I thought more people in the room meant more support. But the truth is: too many voices can drown out your own and cause you to be distracted. With my first home birth labor, I quickly realized I needed peace. Stillness. Presence. Not commentary. I squirreled away into a dark room and labored in peace where I was able to just surrender completely to the contractions. In full transparency, in some of my other home births I had more people present as I was comfortable. But that’s the BEAUTY of home birth vs. traditional hospital birth! You have the ability to choose who you want at your birth and you don’t need to worry about unfamiliar faces coming in and out constantly. Choose your birth team like you’re choosing who gets a front row seat to one of the most sacred moments of your life—because you are.
6. Your midwife isn’t your doula
I learned this the hard way my first time around. I thought midwives were all encompassing care and emotional support. Sometimes they really can be both, but don’t expect that. Midwives are there for the clinical safety of your pregnancy, birth, and baby’s well-being. Doulas? They’re your emotional and physical support system. I was fortunate to have a midwife the first time around who educated me that I could need both depending on my needs and how I manage pain. It’s wise to understand there is difference between a midwife and doula. Take time to evaluate whether you might need a doula for your pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. You don’t want to think when you’re at the end that I wish I had known I needed both. Someone to monitor baby—and someone to rub my back and whisper, “You’re doing it.”
7. You might roar
I mean truly you might make sounds you never knew were possible! I thought I’d be calm. Centered. Quiet. And then labor started and then I hit transition…y’all I was moaning and making sounds that were just so primal. Birth sounds are powerful. And necessary. Let them out. You don’t need to hold it together. You’re not supposed to and NOBODY is judging you.
8. Protect your birth space like your peace depends on it
Because it does! Set boundaries around your phone, your visitors, and your updates if it helps your mindset. Your energy is sacred before and during labor. Don’t be afraid to stop a friend, family member, or mommy from trauma dumping their birth horror story or questioning your decision to birth at home. Don’t be afraid to be that woman who doesn’t want texts or constant labor check-ins. You’re not being rude—you’re being wise.
9. Birth will change you forever
No matter how your birth unfolds, you won’t be the same woman who went into labor. You’ll meet a version of yourself you didn’t know existed. Stronger. Softer. Braver. Birth isn’t just about meeting your baby, it’s about meeting you, too. You will also birth a new mother, every single time.
10. You absolutely can do this
Walking into home birth doesn’t always mean you will be confident. And that’s okay! Even in the hardest moments. Even when doubt creeps in. Even if it looks nothing like what you planned. Trust me, some of these will happen, it’s natural because birth is unpredictable. But you were designed for this. You are equipped. And you are not alone.
Ready to Learn All About Home Birth?
I created the FREE Home Birth 101 Mini Course! It’s your first steps to planning a confident birth at home!
What you’ll get inside the course:
Day 1: Is Home Birth Right for Me? Truths, Myths, and First Steps
Day 2: Setting Up for Success: Essentials for Your Home Birth Space
Day 3: First 5 Steps to Start Your Home Birth Plan and Next Steps
I’ll send you the free course –> “Home Birth 101: Your First Steps to Planning a Confident Birth at Home”—so you can go deeper!
Ready to Plan Your Home Birth With Confidence?
I created The Home Birth Plan Guide to help you feel calm, clear, and confident—whether this is your first birth or your fourth.
Inside, you’ll find:
- Practical logistics
- Emotional prep tools
- My most honest, helpful advice to planning your dream home birth
Download the guide here!